Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My Girls

This week has been a rough week for me and my family both. Lots of tears, lost sleep, and a little worry. I can write about it now as I am heading into my second week from the chemo and I am starting to feel better and have a little hope again that I can make it through this. It has been a difficult week for my girls though. So far, I have been able to be very straightforward with them and we have just taken everything in stride and been able to keep their routines the same. That all changed this week with me being sick. I think it has finally hit them that something could be wrong with me and they are starting to worry a bit.

Hallie (10) has asked me if she will get cancer since I got cancer. Emma (8) had a boy at school tell her that I could not have cancer because I am still here and people with cancer die. She came home this week, lay down in the bed next to me and started to cry. She said, "It's so hard to have a mom with cancer, and having no hair. It's so hard to have a life with your mommy sick." Needless to say that broke my heart.

Yesterday at my treatment (which will now be every Tuesday morning for the rest of the year) we spoke with Sam, a cancer patient advocate. He was a grandfather figure who was so awesome to talk to and put us at ease. Our hospital runs a program strictly for children of cancer patients. Next Tuesday, we are going to take Hallie and Emma out of school and take them to my treatment with me. On that morning, Sam and Janet (a wonderful lady who heads up the cancer dept.) are going to take the girls around the hospital, buy them lunch, let them meet my doctor, show them where and how I get my treatment and that it is a safe place to be, talk with them about cancer and answer any questions they might have. I am so, so excited for the girls and hope that this will be such an encouragement to them and help to take a small weight off their shoulders.

I'll let you know how it goes! In the meantime, thank you so, so much for all the prayers and words of encouragement. They are my lifeline and let me know that I am not alone!

6 comments:

hearingelmo said...

Oh! I'll be praying for next Tuesday in advance! What a terrific way to put the girl's minds at ease and allow them to ask questions. 3 cheers for your treatment center!

I pray for you daily... and that always includes your precious family members as well. Love you Candi!

Peter and Nancy said...

What bright, sensitive girls you have. I don't know if they will find this helpful, but you can tell them about a 3rd grader named Molly whose mom had breast cancer. Molly's mom did not die -- in fact, Molly is my grown-up friend now, and she has 4 kids of her own . . . and Molly's mom is their Grandma. She's been married to their Grandpa for almost 40 years now, and loves to spoil her grandkids.

Although we always fear the worst, there are so many stories of hope. Me and my sons pray every night for you and our friend Matt in Milwaukee (who is 4 and has cancer). We are praying for a miracle like Molly's mom was given!
With love,
Nancy

Robin and Billy said...

Oh Candi, I will be praying that the Lord will give you and David wisdom, strength, and courage in the coming weeks.

I understand from a different perspective, it's hard not being the "normal" mom. The questions don't bother me as much as the limitations. You want to be "everything" to your children and it's hard when reality gets in the way. I think it's wonderful you're taking the girls for a tour of the hospital and letting them see exactly what you're doing to fight the cancer.

I'll be praying for you, especially for wisdom.

Don't forget, you're not walking alone, you're holding the unseen hand of our precious Savior. Your walking with a friend who will be there through it ALL and I'm cheering you on ALL the way.

Love you girl,
-Robin

Julie & Patrick said...

What a wonderful idea for the girls. I know that even as an adult it helped me so much to actually see my mom having a treatment and meet the doctors who were treating her. You are doing great and are doing a fabulous job of continuing to be the mom they need you to be.

Julie R

CV said...

Candice...so glad you are finding your resources and taking advantage of them. It's so nice to stay in touch with you through your blog. I think of you often. Sending hugs your way!

Christine

jasonliberty said...

Candice, It sounds like you have a wonderful hospital and staff. I will be praying for your treatment to go well.
Liberty