Thursday, January 13, 2011

My One Year Mark!

Tonight I am sitting by the computer with just 30 minutes left in the day that marks my "1 year cancer free!" It has been an emotional day and one that I am almost sad to see go. I'm sitting here in my cozy p.j.'s with my children and 2 of their cousins asleep on the living room floor. There is a beautiful white snow outside and it's all quiet inside....the house at least. I am very restless on the inside of me. People keep asking me how I am going to celebrate this milestone and I am just not sure yet. I have been invited by a friend to take a trip to India. I cannot tell you how badly I want to do this. What a way to celebrate!

I cannot adequately describe the gratefulness I feel to be able to even be celebrating this day. I know that each day is a gift and I want to live with purpose. I have been given more time and I don't want to waste it. I am not sure what that will look like in my life, but I know some changes need to be made. I know that change takes time, but I'm the type of person who sees a need and moves on it. I don't see the point in waiting. :) So, I am ready to start making some changes and I want to get started this year!

I am also a little nervous. This last month has been a difficult one. My body, which has been in menopause since March of last year, has decided to do a complete turn-around, and is now trying to head back the other way. My doctor is surprised and I have been an emotional and physical wreck. My poor husband and kids. :) I have also begun meeting with doctors and talking with other women about my reconstructive surgery. The recurring theme seems to be that I should prepare for a painful, drawn-out process. Great. Now I have begun to dread something I was actually looking forward to. Of course I will still keep moving forward, one step at a time and pray for grace for each new day and what it brings.

So, I will head to bed, just before midnight, praising God for this year and seeking His protection, strength and direction for the year to come!


Peter and Nancy said...

I wonder if you realize the impact you've had on so many people, especially with the resolve to make each day count? You certainly have had that effect on me, and I'm grateful.

You're asking some great questions about surgery . . . what a difficult decision. I will pray for you as you research it.

Love to you, survivor!

The Labontes said...

So glad to see you reach this amazing milestone with such grace and perseverance.