2 Years Cancer Free!

Today I am "2 Years Cancer Free"! Although my official bloodwork is not until next week, today is exactly 2 years from my first surgery to remove the cancer! This is a big one for me. Because of the particular aggressive nature of the type of cancer that I had, (love saying HAD), the highest rate of return is within the first 2 years. Reaching this milestone gives me hope that I will reach my 5 year mark, the next big goal, and still be able to say "cancer free!"

This week 2 sweet friends of mine, Sherry and Jenny, brought me the Willow Tree figurine, "Grateful." It is a perfect gift for me this week! Not only did it remind me that I am loved, but it will continue to remind me to live in gratitude to my Heavenly Father! I am not only grateful to reach my 2 year mark, but looking back over the last 2 years, I have so many blessings and mercies to be grateful for!

And God Speaks

Last night I had every intention of starting my morning...and the rest of the mornings this year, with prayer and Bible Study. As many good intentions do, mine did not happen. It was my plan to take the 30 minutes I have after my middle schooler leaves for school and before I have to wake my elementary 2, to read and pray. However, I was tired (I'm always tired nowdays) and I justified, as I so easlily can, and chose to lay down for those 30 minutes. Of course, by the time my alarm went off, I had not fallen asleep, so I felt worse. After getting my next 2 off to school, I lay back down and 15 minutes later my 3 year old wakes up. By now, I'm very cranky (big shock) and I'm getting a headache from trying to sleep. After his breakfast, I unfairly wrestle him down and make him lie down again while I try to sleep. We both finally fall asleep for a short while.

Now this is definitely NOT how I wanted to start my day. I have gotten nothing accomplished, I'm in a bad mood, I still did not have a quiet time with the Lord, and now I have a slight headache! I decided sit down at the computer while I ate my lunch and read some of the blogs I follow, but have not gotten to check for the last couple of weeks over the holidays. Can you imagine my surprise when I pull up the first one by Mark Batterson and read this...

The 21-Day Prayer Challenge begins today!

I believe that your destiny is determined in the early daylight hours. How you start the day will determine what the rest of the day is like. That is why praying and reading Scripture in the morning is so important. It sets the tone. Like turning the dial on your radio, it’s the way you tune into God’s frequency. And that daily discipline will ultimately determine your destiny.

He also included the verse found in Psalms 5:3 "In the morning, O Lord, You hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before You and wait in expectation." Wow. I felt like my Heavenly Father had just sat down to lunch with me and shared with me His desires for my year ahead! I'm also thinking my little justification of "being tired" is not going to cut it in the morning! :) So, although it is afternoon, I am going to try to "begin again" and see if I can salvage what is left of this day that the Lord has made for me!

A Child's Words

Yesterday was 1 week out from my latest reconstructive procedure related to my double mastectomy. What was supposed to be a simple procedure without being put to sleep (only because insurance does not want to pay for it I'm sure), turned into 5 hours at the hospital and a very traumatic experience for me. I won't go into all the details, but to make a long story short, I should have been asleep, or at least given some valium or something to help me get through. I held it together while in the operating room, but when I got out to the car after it was over, the tears came. So, it has been another week of healing, dressing wounds, sleeping on my back, and watching the bruises turn purple and then green. I am so grateful that this is my favorite time of year and that the holidays are right around the corner. This is helping to keep my spirits lifted!

This morning, I removed the bandages on my side, and showed my boys (ages 3 and 7) where the doctors had stitched me back together. I let them touch the little loop of fishing line that is still sticking out of my body. Of course they thought that was really cool, while being a little freaked out at the thought of someone sewing on Mommy! My 3 year old came back to me a few moments later and this was our short conversation:

Micah: "Mommy, did you cry?"

Me: "Yes, Mommy did."

Micah: "Did someone hold your hand?"

Me: "No, baby, no one did."

Micah: "Was the doctor there?"

Me: "Yes, he was there."

Micah: "I wish I was there to hold your hand."

Me: "Me too. I would have loved that!"

This little conversation with my 3 year old little boy, was a hug from God this morning. It brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. I wonder, (but I think I know the answer) if our words of praise and love, as simple as they may be, to our Heavenly Father, bring Him as much Joy and pleasure! We are His children and "He inhabits the praise of His people!" Today I am reminded that I need to be intentional and remind my Father of all the ways that I love Him!

Mission

Over the last few years, my traditional view of "missions" has slowly been changing. I sense the Lord doing a work in my heart and my mind, and I want to be faithful in sharing this with my children. There are a couple of ways I am trying to build a passion for God's "mission" in their hearts.

First, all parents know that there is a tremendous amount of reading required when your kids are in school. My two oldest are supposed to be reading from 20-30 minutes a day. I am very fortunate that mine love to read, so often times I have to tell them, "Put your books down, you have read enough for today!" :) However, we have been able to capitalize on this time of required reading and put it to use for Kingdom purposes! My rule is that they can pick a book, and then I pick the next one. This is something we have done for a year and a half and it has been wonderful. So far my eldest has been able to read several books from the Chronicles of Narnia, parts of Pilgrims Progress, and is currently reading biographies of Christian missionaries! We have found an author that the girls really like, Janet and Geoff Benge, and they have written about 30 Christian biographies for kids 4th - 8th grade, in a series called "Christian Heroes: Then and Now." Currently my girls have read about Amy Carmichael, Harriet Tubman, Corrie ten Boom, Lillian Trasher, Lottie Moon, and Gladys Aylward! I am especially excited for them to read about these women (and men) who spent their lives in service to God and others. Many of them even started and ran orphanages, a passion close to my heart!

Our second decision to help grow this passion in our children's hearts was that as their 13th birthday gift, we would take them on a mission trip to another country. I wish every teenager could at least once see how the other 3/4th of the world lives. I think it would change their lives. I know it has changed mine. So, this coming summer, Hallie and I are planning to spend a week in Guatemala. We will be working at several Compassion Child Care Centers. This will allow me to see Compassion's work first hand, and allow Hallie to hopefully increase her love for Spanish, for teaching children, and keep her heart soft for those children living in poverty. Our fundraising efforts will kick off in January, so if any of my readers feel compelled to give toward our trip, we won't say, "no!" :)

God is always at work building His Kingdom and His Church! I am grateful that He desires for us to live on "mission" while we are here and to share a small part in His great story!

Komen 5K Walk/Run

It's not the best picture, but it's proof we did it! This year was our 2nd year to participate in the Susan G Komen Race for the Cure! Last year I missed the survivor photo by 5 minutes...this year I made it on time! Last year the girls and I half ran, half walked the 5K...this year because of my recent surgeries, we walked the whole 3.2 miles. Next year, I plan to run! I have a year to work up to it! David ran both years and even got a better time this year than last. It was a muggy day, but worth it! We had lots of fun with some of our family and friends who walked with us this year!

It's hard to explain the atmosphere...nearly 10,000 people supporting loved ones who have survived breast cancer, are currently fighting, or who lost the battle. The race is definitely something I hope my family gets to be a part of for many years to come!

The day after the walk, I ran into a lady that I just met in August of this year. She said, "I didn't know that you were a breast cancer survivor." I said, "Yes, how did you just find out?" She went on to tell me how she had been walking in the Komen race as well. Ahead of her, she saw a women with a sign on her back that said, "Celebrating...and my name!" She asked the lady about it and the lady said that she did not know me personally, but a friend of hers had mentioned my name as a fairly new survivor, so she was walking in my honor! I got chills. To think that some woman I don't know was walking in the same race that day with my name on her back, celebrating me as a breast cancer survivor! Such a cool, cool thing!

The race is a great reminder that I am almost done with this part of my journey. One more outpatient procedure coming up in October, and then the last part of the reconstruction in January as I celebrate my "2 years cancer free!" Not a bad way to start a new year!

Changing Seasons

Autumn, jeans and sweatshirts, soccer, chili and fritos, white chocolate mochas...it's my favorite time of year! I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, and the holiday spirit that you begin to feel as the end of the year draws closer and closer. This time of year, it is easy for me to find so many things to be thankful for.

I can't help but think, however, that as the holiday season approaches, some people will be and are facing very difficult circumstances. Seasons change, and the leaves with their brilliant, fiery colors of red and gold that I love so much, will dry up and blow away into the cold white of winter. So our lives experience seasons of vibrant joy and blessing, and times of difficulty and sorrow.

I have begun reading Ann Voskamp's book "One Thousand Gifts." She has a beautiful paragraph that describes a way of looking at our world where we can still find ways to "come before God's presence with thanksgiving," even in a winter season of our lives.

"I wonder too...if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world, our own emptiness, might actually become places to see.

To see through to God.

That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave."

As I head into Fall, looking forward to Thanksgiving, the end of my surgeries and procedures, time with family, cooler weather, new year's resolutions and changing priorities, I am also praying that from this moment on, I will live always with a thankful spirit in every season!

Back in the Saddle!

I guess you could say that I am "back in the saddle" again! This morning was my first morning back to church since my surgery 5 weeks ago. It was good to see friends again that I have not seen in a while and get some good hugs! :)

This evening I got to work my first ever Compassion booth at an event. That the event happened to be a concert of one of my favorite contemporary Christian groups was icing on the cake! I enjoyed myself very much and I am excited to report that at least 19 new children got sponsored tonight! Needless to say, "I'm hooked!"

All in all, a wonderful day getting back into the swing of things. I guess only tomorrow will tell if I pushed myself too hard today, but if so, it was so worth it! A great way to kick off a new week!