As I lay in bed last night, thinking about my struggle with Alopecia, my sister's debilitating struggle with excema on her hands, another sister's desire to marry and start a family, my mother-in-law's years of chronic migraines, my sister-in-law's mother being treated for her 4th bout with cancer, I wept. Why has God allowed these things in our lives, with no apparent reason, and no ready answer after years of praying?
It is no coincidence that this morning, in my reading, I came across the following in a book called "Kisses from Katie." It is an exerpt from her journal.
"Remember, God will never give you more than you can handle." People repeat this frequently; I heard it when I was growing up and I hear it now. It is meant to be a source of encouragement, and it would be if I believed it were true. But I don't. I believe that God totally, absolutely, intentionally gives us more than we can handle. Because this is when we surrender to Him and He takes over, proving Himself by doing the impossible in our lives. I have learned to accept it, even ask for it, this "more than I can handle." Because in these times, God shows Himself victorious. He reminds me that all of this life requires more of Him and less of me. God does give us more than we can handle. Not maliciously, but intentionally, in love, that His glory may be displayed, that we may have no doubt of who is in control, that people may see His grace and faithfulness shining through our lives. And as I surrender these situations to Him, watch Him take over and do the impossible, I am filled with joy and peace--so much more than I can handle.
Today, I am trying to relinquish and yearning for joy and peace, for myself and for those I love who are also struggling with the unclear, "why?"