My One Year Mark!

Tonight I am sitting by the computer with just 30 minutes left in the day that marks my "1 year cancer free!" It has been an emotional day and one that I am almost sad to see go. I'm sitting here in my cozy p.j.'s with my children and 2 of their cousins asleep on the living room floor. There is a beautiful white snow outside and it's all quiet inside....the house at least. I am very restless on the inside of me. People keep asking me how I am going to celebrate this milestone and I am just not sure yet. I have been invited by a friend to take a trip to India. I cannot tell you how badly I want to do this. What a way to celebrate!

I cannot adequately describe the gratefulness I feel to be able to even be celebrating this day. I know that each day is a gift and I want to live with purpose. I have been given more time and I don't want to waste it. I am not sure what that will look like in my life, but I know some changes need to be made. I know that change takes time, but I'm the type of person who sees a need and moves on it. I don't see the point in waiting. :) So, I am ready to start making some changes and I want to get started this year!

I am also a little nervous. This last month has been a difficult one. My body, which has been in menopause since March of last year, has decided to do a complete turn-around, and is now trying to head back the other way. My doctor is surprised and I have been an emotional and physical wreck. My poor husband and kids. :) I have also begun meeting with doctors and talking with other women about my reconstructive surgery. The recurring theme seems to be that I should prepare for a painful, drawn-out process. Great. Now I have begun to dread something I was actually looking forward to. Of course I will still keep moving forward, one step at a time and pray for grace for each new day and what it brings.

So, I will head to bed, just before midnight, praising God for this year and seeking His protection, strength and direction for the year to come!