A Brief Respite

Yesterday, I was reminded again of God's graciousness in our lives over the last year and a half. As I sat in my oncologist's office for my check-up, a resident doctor came in to observe and review my file. While we waited on the oncologist to come in, the resident asked me about my cancer story and he perused my file. After a minute, he seemed startled and asked, "You mean your cancer was hormone negative and HER2 positive and it was just a stage 1?" Yes. I don't think I have ever been in denial, but I choose to not dwell on "what could be or might be," but to take each day as it comes, trusting the Lord for enough strength for the day. (Matthew 6:34) It had been a while since I had been reminded just how serious my cancer diagnosis was and could have been.

1. Only about 25% of women get the kind of cancer I got.
2. It is a highly aggressive cancer and could have only been in my body for a couple of months at most to still be a stage 1.
3. It was a miracle that I realized something had changed and I needed to talk with my doctor.
4. It was another miracle that my doctor agreed to send me to a specialist after a radiologist, 2 mammograms and 3 ultrasounds said that there was nothing there.

Whatever the reasons, I may never know, but I got to share again how God had taken care of us and how He had used the delay in my diagnosis, and held the growth at bay, so that we could adopt our youngest son!

So where am I now and what do I have planned for the future? :)

1. I just finished my last visit with my plastic surgeon yesterday! I get a brief respite. The expanding process with the skin is done and so we have scheduled surgery for July to remove the expanders and replace them with the implants. The whole process from surgery, healing, reconstructing and tatooing will take about 6 months.
2. My 7th echocardiogram came back showing that my heart is on the mend. Still not all the way there, but heading in the right direction! My heart muscle had been damaged by the year-long treatments.
3. I am still sleeping in the recliner...since March 16th! Although I love my recliner, I am longing for my bed. The problem is just that the expanders are too uncomfortable to lay on either side and too heavy for me to lay on my back...I can't breath. :(
4. We have planned my surgery for July instead of June so that I can take a trip to Colorado to see my family and attend my grandparent's 70th wedding anniversary! YES, 70th!!!
5. As of now, I am considered "cancer free!" With my type of cancer, the highest rate of return is within the first 2 years. I will be holding my breath till January, my 2 year mark. :) The rate is slightly less for it to return within 5 years. After that, there is a 92% success rate! So, for now it is just up to me to know my body and be on the lookout for any strange aches or pains that don't go away. No pressure there. ;)

So, I am grateful for God's blessings and His grace! I am so thankful for this Mother's Day that just passed, and I am looking forward to school getting out and spending a fun summer with my family!

Surrounded by India!

It seems like everywhere I turn lately, India is popping up. I'm not sure why. A friend of mine who is adopting from Ethiopia says that everywhere she turns she is hearing and seeing stuff about Ethiopia. Maybe it's been there all along, but I am just more aware now of things involving India since my youngest son was born there; now that I hold a piece of India in my heart. Here are a few of my run-ins with India lately...

• In the April 18th issue of Time Magazine there is a small article about India winning the Cricket World Cup! They had not won the title since 1983. I was instantly reminded of our trip to India 2 years ago and remembered seeing little boys playing the game on little patches of dirt by the sides of the road.
• Slumdog Millionaire was on t.v. a couple of weeks ago. The same day my daughter brought home a new book from her classroom to read for her daily reading. It was a small non-fiction book about the little girl who got chosen to have a leading role in that movie.
• A friend of mine just got back from India a couple of weeks ago after traveling to pick up their 5th child (their 3rd adopted from India)! While there, they volunteered for a week at a foster-type home for special-needs orphans. She may not know it, but this friend is such an inspiration to me!
• Ganthimathy, the little girl we sponsor in India, has a birthday coming up soon. I have been working on getting a birthday packet put together to put in the mail for her.
• Right now I am reading the book "One Million Arrows" by Julie Ferwerda. In it she shares the story of M.A. Thomas or "Papa" as the orphans called him. He was Indian and started a ministry in India caring for the leper's children and orphans in a very desperate area in northern India. Since the 1970's he has cared for thousands of orphans, started "Hope Homes" all over the country of India, set up schools and Bible Schools and graduated hundreds of orphans who have chosen to be nurses, doctors, teachers, pastors, etc., all in their own country so that they could serve "the least of these" and spread the Gospel of Jesus! So Incredible! Papa just passed away in December and his ministry "HopeGivers International" is still going strong. I highly recommend that you check out his web site and also read the book!
• Yesterday, as I was reading a blog I follow, I came across an add for a free book. Not one to turn down a free book, I clicked on the link. It is called "Revolution in World Missions" by K.P. Yohannan. It is a book by Gospel for Asia and the author is from India! I cannot wait to read it. The reviews are great and say the book is "life-changing!"

Although I am not sure why "India" keeps popping up in my life right now, I am pretty certain that God is slowing growing a love for India in my heart that He began the day we said, "Yes," to a little boy from Kolkata!

Compassion International Advocate

Well, it's official! I have been a huge fan of Compassion International for many years, but I have only just recently taken the next step to become an official advocate for their ministry.

Over the last couple of years, God has been speaking to me about my selfishness and apathy. I am very content where I find myself in my little church, my little community, my little circle of family and friends. I am just beginning to realize that "doing nothing" is a sin. If we are content, we are still. God did not save us to sit, but to actively seek to spread His glory to His children around the world. In the last couple of months, I have fallen in love with the verse in Micah 6:8 and I would say that it has become my life's verse. "What is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?" God does not make mistakes. I find it amazing that my life's verse is found in the book of Micah, the name of our son that we adopted 2 years ago trying to live the commands of this passage!

As I have become more passionate about adoption, my concern has also grown to include many other issues that affect children around the world...poverty, HIV/AIDS, clean water needs, lack of education, child sex-trafficking, etc. Many organizations that I love, help with these issues, but Compassion was a ministry that was already in place, and actively making a difference and changing lives in most of these areas. So, I felt led that this would be a GREAT place to start getting my feet wetter!

If you would like to know more about the ministry of Compassion or would like to consider sponsoring a child for just $38 a month, please click on the link above and check out the awesome children who need a sponsor! You will be taking the first step in changing their lives and yours!

Post-Surgery Update

Wow. I am amazed to think that anyone would choose to do plastic surgery voluntarily. While I know I will be so grateful for the results, the process is quickly wearing me down and it's only been 2 weeks since my surgery.

After surgery, I spent 1 night in the hospital and then they sent me home...even with a fever. Go figure. I came home with 3 drain tubes and a numbing pump hanging out of my sides. I am covered in bruises where they tried to stick i.v's that did not want to go. The pressure in my chest and the swelling under my arms makes it difficult to do much of anything. I can't drive, I have to sleep in the recliner, I'm not supposed to do any lifting, and the natural tendency to hold my arms stiffly at my side has caused a lot of pain in my neck and shoulders. Fun times! To top off the last 2 weeks, my mother has pulled her back out trying to help me with the kids and the housework, the 2 girls have colds, and the 2 boys have tested positive for the flu!

So, what comes next? I will be seeing the doctor each week for the next couple of months for injections of fluid to fill my expanders. At my next visit, I hope to get the remaining two drains out which will make a huge difference I think. My second surgery should take place around the end of May or the beginning of June. In May, I have my 6th echocardiogram to see if my heart is returning back to it's normal function rate after being weakened by the Hercepton. Despite all this, there is an end in site and I am grateful for several things...

1. The test results on the tissue from my second mastectomy were normal!
2. My husband's boss has been incredible, letting him take off whenever he needed to help me!
3. I have gotten to spend a couple of weeks with my mother!
4. I should be done with everything by the end of June and get to enjoy part of the summer with my kiddos!
5. I have some wonderful friends and family who are looking after me!

I am truly blessed!

Thankful "L"

LAUGHTER - One of my very favorite things in the whole world is hearing my children laugh! When they get tickled by something or someone and let out that uncontrollable belly laugh, I cannot help but smile! It is the greatest sound ever!

I LOVE LUCY - My mom brought me the very first season of "I Love Lucy" on DVD to watch while I am laid up for a while. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and we have had so much fun sitting in the living room watching Lucy and laughing hysterically every night before hitting the hay!

LIME-ADES - There is nothing quite like a Lime-ade Chiller from Sonic! I love cherry lime-ades, but when summer comes around and I am irresistibly drawn in for the cranberry or lime lime-ade chillers! I cannot describe the tangy sweetness to you, but I highly recommend you try one. You will never go back to just a plain milkshake again!

It's Time...

Well, it's time. Today is the day of my reconstructive surgery. There are going to be 3 surgeons in the room following each other and 3 different procedures. I am all about having to be put to sleep as few times as possible! They are estimating that the surgery is going to take about 4 hours. First, my breast surgeon will remove my port and do a mastectomy on my left side. Second, my plastic surgeon will insert the expanders in both sides to begin stretching the skin. This process can be painful and will take about 2-3 months to complete. Third, my general surgeon will then go into my belly button and fix my umbilical hernia that has developed complications from when I was pregnant with my son. Needless to say, I am not looking forward to how I am going to feel tomorrow! :) I found out last week that my heart is not functioning at full capacity, thanks to my cancer treatment. The doctors think it is still ok to proceed with surgery, so here we go.

I am told that it is going to be a long 3 months of emptying drains, weekly visits to the doctor, sleeping in the recliner, etc. And then...surgery number 2. Since I have no control of any of the above, I am going to say a quick prayer of thanks...

"Heavenly Father, I thank you that I am cancer free! I thank you for allowing my parents to be able to come and stay with my kids during my surgery. I thank you for finding me the best doctors in town. I thank you for my family and friends who are praying for me today and have shown me so much love! You are incredibly gracious to me! With all my heart! Candice"

"I Refuse"

This week I heard a new song, sung by the artist who wrote it. It was very powerful and spoke to my heart in a place where God has speaking for a while now. God's message has been about leaving my comfort zone to step out and actively pursue helping those who are less fortunate around the world. We have taken steps as a family over the last couple of years to follow God's command in this area, but I know there is more we can do.

I got to hear Josh Wilson sing the song "I Refuse" off his album "See You," and it was great! It has the same message as some of the books I have read lately, like "Radical," by David Platt, "Global Soccer Mom," by Shayne Moore, and "The Hole in Our Gospel," by Richard Stearns. The lyrics are:

Sometimes I,

I just want to close my eyes

And act like everyone's alright

When I know they're not.

This world needs God

But it's easier to stand and watch.

I could pray a prayer and just move on

Like nothing's wrong.

But I refuse.

'Cause I don't want to live like I don't care.

I don't want to say another empty prayer.

Oh, I refuse to

Sit around and wait for someone else

To do what God has called me to do myself.

Oh, I could choose

Not to move but I refuse.

I can hear the least of these

Crying out so desperately,

And I know we are the hands and feet

Of You, oh God.

So, if you say move,

Then it's time for me to follow through,

And do what I was made to do.

Show them who you are.

I pray that I will always be ready to spread God's love to others around me and across the world!